Tuesday,
March 06,
Italian-Vietnamese Wedding Planning or War ??
The ANNOTICO Report
Any
Wedding Planning has its challenges, near nervous breakdowns, and battles!!!
But then their is the Multi Cultural one. WHOA!!!!
This
Vietnamese girl marring an Italian boy is seemingly taking the obdurate and
cantankerous parents in stride :)
Leave
the Bun Thit Nuong. Take
the Cannoli
The
Sydney Morning Herald
Anh Dang
You'd
think planning a wedding would be fun - choosing the wedding gown, cake,
flowers and colour schemes. Not fun at all if you're
planning a multicultural one.
I'm a Vietnamese
girl about to marry an Italian boy. We haven't set a date yet, but already,
it's turned out to be a war between the pho eaters
and pasta lovers.
The biggest
battle so far is the one over food; both cultures are fiercely proud of their
national cuisines. My soon to be in-laws refuse to have their friends eating
out of small bowls and using chopsticks. It's uncivilised.
My family has
adopted a more subtle war strategy. They've said to me, "Darling, you can
do what you like. It doesn't matter if our friends and family don't eat."
The vast majority of older Vietnamese people have
never eaten pasta or cheese and won't want to try them just for me.
Friends have
suggested taking a middle ground - we could serve Indian food or Western food
and make everyone miserable. I like the sound of that.
There's also the
minor battle to have a traditional Vietnamese tea ceremony before the church
one. The fiance's parents were aghast at the thought;
it's just too foreign. Without their support, it can't happen. Score: Italians
1, Vietnamese 0.
The battle for
the priest has been waged and won. We're having a priest who speaks both
Vietnamese and English, if not fluent in either. Italians 1,
Vietnamese 1.
The battle over
the number of people to invite ended in a draw. If both sets of parents had
their way, they'd invite everyone from their villages in Kinh
Be and Randazzo. My fiance
and I put our foot down - 100 people for each set of
parents and 50 people for us. Italians 2, Vietnamese 2.
Even the dance
floor has become a battlefield. The Italians love their Dean Martin, the
Vietnamese their karaoke. If we don't find the right balance, it could turn
bloody.
This might sound
drastic, but let me tell you there are many mixed marriages out there, and I
don't think it's smooth sailing for any of them.
Compromises must be made, battles are lost and won on both sides, and more
often than not, it's the bride and groom who lose the war.
By now, I imagine
many of you are willing me to elope. But not this girl.
The guilt I would be subjected to from both sides, whose only common ground is
that they're both Catholic, would make my life not worth living. After all, the
wedding is just one day but the guilt trip could last a lifetime.
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